That Burning Smell is Me Thinking…

I am one of those people who looks closely at how things are designed. I can tell when there is a change in something.

I recently brought some McDonalds food home, sat in my comfy contemplation chair and ate it. I am one of those people who unfolds his napkin completely before using it and I noticed something strange. Not only was the fold on the outside asymmetrical, but the fold on the inside was as well. At first I thought it was a flaw in the napkin, but then I saw that all the other napkins in the pile were the same way. This can’t be some kind of design thing to make it more functional, because it felt weird. It struck me as a way to skimp on two inches of paper down the right edge of the napkin in order to save money.

I envisioned some meeting at the McDonalds World Headquarters in Oak Park, Illinois where they discussed ways to save money. Someone got the idea to trim the napkin by two inches and fold it in an offset way to make it appear the same size as the napkins have always been. Wow! What a great idea, give the poor suckers less napkin to wipe their mouths and clean up the soda junior spilled all over the car!

It’s called downsizing, corporations love it. They will down size a product (or the workforce) and the person who came up with the idea gets a bonus, the stock price goes up, but the customers and employees suffer.

When a bottle, can or box of your favorite product appears on the store shelf with a bold new package design, one thing you may not notice is that they put a little less on the inside and they charge the same price. People don’t like paying more for a can of beans, but the corporations discovered that they can just put less in each can and charge the same. The consumer usually doesn’t notice the drop in quantity because they are distracted by the new logo or a slightly different shape of the package. The thousands of dollars they spent on the package redesign will pay for itself many times over in added profits.

Just make it smaller, but make it appear the same size and save a penny or two. Over time those pennies add up to some real money.

I was wrestling with something that was really bothering me.

When I started working at a certain high end retail establishment, I had to get over a little moral dilemma about working at a fancy department store that sells heavily marked up merchandise that people really don’t need. I couldn’t feel comfortable with contributing to the culture of conspicuous consumption. When I found the job, I was happy that they wanted to pay me eight dollars an hour to wash dishes in their restaurant, it is not much money, but the job wasn’t too difficult either. So I my thoughts were, “I actually like washing dishes, this is temporary and I need the money,” so I accepted the part time position that was offered to me.

Each day I washed dishes and did whatever else needed to be done. One of those duties was taking out the garbage. After a while I noticed that we would throw out perfectly good food every night because it would not be good enough to sell fresh the next day. Each day I became more aware of the disparity between the rich and the poor. I would see people begging for something to eat while sitting in the window at the front of the store where I worked. Inside the store, people were spending $775 for ordinary looking ski jackets that were possibly made by 12 year old slave girls in a sweat shop.

I couldn’t go on living with the fact that I was tossing the food that those people needed into the dumpster every night. I couldn’t continue working for a company that was selling a ski jacket for $775 while half the world’s population is barely surviving on less than a dollar a day. To me that $775 represented the equivalent yearly income of two people. I couldn’t forget the people who work in sweat shops all over the world making those jackets for what amounts to be slave wages in order to “maximize shareholder value.”

On top of the moral issues, I was being physically run into the ground. What started out as a part time, make-a-little-extra-cash job turned into 5 days a week. When the other dishwasher went on vacation, the boss scheduled me for six days a week and cut the hours of each day in order to satisfy some bean counter’s formula for overtime pay denial. What happened is that when I arrived at the later hour that I was scheduled, I had more work than I could keep up with. What already started out as a day with very few breaks, ended up as a day with no breaks and non stop dishes and messes. I was working at a frantic pace and as a result I was constantly being cut stabbed and bruised. When I burned myself moving a hot pan that one of the cooks set down next to the sink when my back was turned, I realized that they were not paying me enough.

So I decided to quit, but I was going to wait until the other dishwasher returned from his two week vacation. Towards the end of first week I got really sick, so I called into work and stayed home. I knew I had the devastating cold bug that was being passed around because I was barely able to get out of bed. I knew it was going to be a while before I would be able to function on some basic level and another several days to get back into the swing of things.

I decided that it would be better to quit that day because if I didn’t, I would have to call in sick each day for a week and I just didn’t want to bother with it if I was about to quit anyways. I didn’t care what the boss thought, my mind was made up so I typed my resignation and emailed it to the boss that night. I made sure I analyzed every word to make sure it didn’t sound too bitter or angry. I wanted it to be as dry and businesslike as possible. I decided to give no reason for quitting except that I was not able to continue working there. It is amazing how one and a half short paragraphs can take all day to type, here it is:

Hi Boss Person,

I am writing this to inform you that I will not be able to continue working at This Establishment. Thursday, January 25, 2007 will have to be considered my last day. I am sorry that I am quitting like this, but I am simply not able to continue working there.

Thank you for the opportunity, I wish you continued success.

James R. Council

I know it is jerky to quit a job through email, but I really wanted it to be over with. I simply couldn’t wait, it had to be done so I could rest and concentrate on healing and getting on with my life.

I bought another iBook.

This particular iBook is a G4 1 GHz, it is less than 3 years old and it is in excellent shape. The gentleman I bought it from said this machine has seen very light use and has been sitting on a shelf for three months. This computer is very clean and there is very little wear.

The journey that led me to buy this computer is kind of complicated. When I bought my first iBook, I couldn’t afford a G4 iBook, so I found a G3 iBook for $400 on eBay. It already had an Airport wireless card in it so all I needed was a memory upgrade and I was set. I also bought another G3 iBook for parts but I was able to fix it so I sold it to a friend. Then my iBook started having video problems so my friend, Darren, let me have his old G4 Titanium PowerBook that needed to be fixed.

So I fixed the PowerBook and is OK, except that it is slower than my G3 iBook, is a little too big for my taste and it also is pretty worn out. I also don’t like the trackpad and typing on it is awkward. To top off all these lovely attributes, all the ports are located on the back beneath the screen hinge so it is very difficult to plug anything into it. The iBook has the ports on the side which is very convenient.

Needless to say, I really missed my little iBook. So I started looking around for another one when I saw a little ad for an iBook on Craigslist. The description wasn’t too detailed, so I emailed the guy and 11 messages later he answered all my questions and we agreed on a price. I was very fortunate because I was not the first person to make an offer. All the other people who were interested in it were not able to make it to his house because there was a big snow storm that day. So I was the only one who was willing to go out into the snow to pick up this little iBook. I think it may have been divine intervention.

On top of all that goodness, I found out that I am getting a new battery for free thanks to Apple’s Battery Recall Program. Bonus!

This story happened in the late 90s in Dallas Texas.

I was unemployed and sick. I had come down with some kind of severe cold right after losing my job, and I needed to find another job quickly because I didn’t have much savings.

At the time, jobs were relatively easy to come by. I went online and found job postings for IT/help desk jobs and shot out my resume almost everywhere. I even submitted for jobs I knew I was not qualified for to see if they would call back.

I got several responses and started scheduling interviews. There was this one job that sounded really promising and they finally got back to me after I had scheduled other interviews. I really was hoping for this job, so I canceled another interview so I could meet up with them.

I was trying to keep phone calls brief with these prospective employers because I had a really bad cough and I didn’t want anyone to know I was sick. I thought it would show a sign of weakness or something. I scheduled interviews later in the week hoping that I would be feeling better, but my cold was really bad and I was having a hard time getting over it.

So the day of the interview arrives, I still have a nasty cough and I ran out of cough syrup. “No problem,” I think, “I will just pick some up on the way to the interview.” So I leave a few minutes early so I can stop at the store and my cough was getting worse and my fever was coming back. In hindsight I know I should have canceled, but I was starting to get desperate for work, so I pushed on.

I got back to my car after buying the cough syrup and I quickly opened it and took a big swig. I was thinking that if I took a big dose it would work faster. I sat in my car for a few minutes and tried to relax and breathe deeply. “OK, time to get going, don’t want to be late.”

I started driving, trying to relax, but I was starting to feel worse. My cough got worse, so I gulped some more cough syrup. Shortly before I arrive, I had a coughing fit, so I took another sip. After a while I was still fighting the cough, but I was able to keep it mostly quiet. Upon arriving, I looked down at the bottle sitting on the front seat and saw that I had guzzled down almost half of it. I was thinking that if this interview goes quickly, I should be fine.

I parked my car and started walking towards the building when something seemed oddly familiar about the address. I had seen it somewhere before. I looked inside the folder I was carrying and looked at the list of prospective employers. I was horrified to discover that the interview I had canceled was in the same office building and I would have been able to make it to both of them. DOH!

As I was filling out some paperwork in the reception area, I started to sweat profusely. The fever was coming back, I was nervous and it was very warm in there so I discreetly fanned myself with my folder. I must have been quite a sight. I was sick, running a fever, sweating and trying to fight back a nasty cough all while dressed in a scratchy suit. Finally, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the people were ready to see me. I was getting more nervous because I knew the cough syrup was going to hit me soon. I was regretting coming to this interview and was trying to think of ways to get out of there and come back later, but my mind was blank and I could think of nothing.

We step into this small conference room that looks like it had been a storage room the previous week. It was poorly lit, had bare walls, a table with folding chairs, a couple of white boards, a telephone and a large plastic plant in the corner. It was a fairly new company and they were growing, so they didn’t have much time for decorating because they were busy. I don’t remember much after that because about 5 minutes into the interview, the cough syrup kicked in.

What I do remember is I was talking to them and I felt this woosh of relaxation come over me. Next thing I know I have a stupid smile on my face and I didn’t have a care in the world. I knew I had to get out of there. I blew it and I decided to just go. I think I just stopped talking, got up, shook hands and said goodbye, I am not too sure because after the woosh, I became Mr. Stupid.

Needless to say I didn’t get the job and the other guy I had cancelled on never called me back. At least I have a funny story about how I was the sweaty odd guy who stood up in the middle of a job interview and left.

Wow, snow is gently falling outside and it is really pretty. I moved to the living room so I can watch it as I type this. It gives me a good feeling to sit here next to the window in my warm house with my cozy PowerBook watching the flakes fall.

In other news, my internal clock is really flipped. I was sick a couple of weeks ago and right after I got sick, I quit my job. I was about to quit anyways, so I decided to quit then because was easier than calling in sick every day and then quitting.

So I stayed in bed for a week. I would get up to try to eat around noon and then go to the office at Belly Acres for a few hours because I was bored from laying around sick all day and night. I think I had a severe cold because I was hurting and sneezy and ran a fever.

So I have been struggling to get my internal back on track, but I am also challenged by my Romanian studies. I try to get up in the morning to study, but usually I end up studying at night and keep going until 3 or 4 in the morning. Then I wake up at 10 or 11 and study a bit more and then eat and go to the office in the afternoons.

Saturday I was struggling to find a place to study, so I decided to go to my favorite local coffee shop and study there. I get there and find a table and after I got settled in, I quickly downed my first cup of coffee. It was nice to enjoy something warm on a cold day (it was 8º outside) so I ordered a refill. I was able to get a lot of work done, I ordered another refill. Then I ordered an apple soda and kept working for a while and I decided to leave around 9.

I got home and I realized I was really wired. While I was working at Neiman Marcus, I would have two cups of coffee in the morning and two in the evening and have no trouble sleeping at night because I had built up a high tolerance for caffeine. When I got sick, I didn’t drink any coffee for over a week and I realize now that besides a diet Pepsi and a cup of coco each day, I haven’t been drinking too many caffeinated beverages. It is amazing how my tolerance fell so quickly.

I was up most of the night and I ended up sleeping all day. Now I am sitting here at 4 am and I haven’t been to bed yet. At least the snow is pretty.

It can be difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. Learning some new sounds and a few extra letters has been slow for me, but I am learning to adapt. I have started to be able to pick words out on Romanian websites. It’s a start.

The language course I am using is written in British English, so I sometimes have to interpret twice! O statie de benzina becomes a petrol station becomes a gas station. O farmacie becomes a chemists becomes a pharmacy. I have no idea what a teacake (prajituri) is and I had to look up paracetamol tablets (antinevralgice) in the dictionary (head pills).

Despite the minor difficulties, I am working my way to a basic understanding of the Romanian language and I hope to be able to basically communicate when I get there with out getting laughed at or beat up.

I really should be getting my passport, but it is cold and today it was snowing. This week I have been waking up in the morning and doing my Romanian lessons and then arriving at the office in the afternoon. My Romanian has been progressing slowly, mostly because I don’t know any other Romanian speakers. Whatever progress I am making is better than nothing and my constant exposure to it will help when I arrive, I hope.

This morning I was distracted by the pretty snow falling outside my window. I would be doing my lessons, then I would get up to go to the bathroom and on the way back, I would stand at the window looking at the pretty snow. I really wanted to keep looking at the snow, but I had to keep working. Keep the nose in the book, keep practicing saying “buna ziua” and “ce mai faceti.”

The time is running close to get my passport, so I will need to go out and brave the cold this week and get it done. I don’t want to have to pay an expedite fee because of laziness. Tomorrow it should be up to 15ºF so I can try to get the passport thing done, maybe.

The Ground Hog did not see his shadow the other day so we should have an early spring, right? So after the Bears loss yesterday, my tears were freezing before they hit the ground. It is friggin’ COLD! Everywhere it is cold except in my bed when it is time to get up in the morning. So I am struggling with my faith in spring right now, but I do believe in global warming, so I have assurance that the ground hog is right. He better not let me down!

Each day is 2 minutes longer than the last, so spring will be here soon.