That Burning Smell is Me Thinking…

Here are a few pictures Trina and I took while roaming about town.

Trina and I were on our way to the big library downtown and we just happened to catch the Holiday Train when we transferred to the Brown Line train. Enjoy!

I took this photo in 1991.

This is an outtake from a photo session I did a few years ago. I had Aracaly and her husband Tim stand together beacuse I wanted a picture of them together just for me. Now you can see it! Cute, huh?

I like to touch my surroundings; It’s an odd behavior to many people. but I feel a need to do it. When I am riding my bike, I like to tap leaves on trees as I am riding past. When I walk down a hall, I like to touch the walls as I am walking. I like to tap on tables, or on my legs. When I am riding the bus or train, I tap out poly-rhythmic patterns with my hands and feet to a song in my head.

I found out that this behavior is not “normal.” But I have to ask, “What is normal?” I like to feel my surroundings; it makes me more comfortable. I like to play along to my “mental song playlist.,” or whatever is playing on my iPod. Is this so bad?

I used to think that being odd was a bad thing, but I have learned that my differences can be an asset. I found out fairly recently that I can channel my obsessions into something productive, instead of of making them trivial. I have always been interested in politics, economics, and history. “They” have a name for those things in academia, Social Science.

I have developed a talent for seeing the “big picture” while still being able to delve into details. This talent has led me to ponder unifying theories. Quantum physicists and social scientists have been grasping for a unifying theory in their respective fields. I can see a unifying theory in Social Sciences, but I am having a hard time expressing it. As I study political science, math, economics and history, I am seeing a big picture develop based on my knowledge of the arts; I am coming closer to unifying things. I may be completely wrong, but it sure is fun trying!

I have been trying to write a book review for my history class. I was distracted all day and I decided to go to the 24 hour Starbucks in order to minimize the distractions. As I settled into my work, I started feeling queasy. I barely got two paragraphs typed when I felt a dreadful stirring in my gut and a cold sweat developing on my forehead. That could mean only one thing; pack up my stuff and get to the restroom, NOW! I was lucky there was an open restroom, the place was packed. I was barely able to get the door locked when I erupted in the most spectacular Technicolor yawn, I didn’t even have time to put down my backpack! I couldn’t believe my aim was so good, and thank God the seat was already up!

It just kept coming. I was seeing everything I ate that evening, and I was in total disbelief of my condition. I am so glad I had the presence of mind to get to the bathroom when I did. I must have looked like a mad man packing up my stuff in a panic and rushing off to the restroom. In my rush to get to the toilet I dropped my coffee, that I took barely three sips from, in the trash.

I finally regained my composure and went to the register and bought one of their overpriced tins of gum to combat the wretched taste in my mouth. I popped two pieces in my mouth and left quickly. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I first felt like I wasted my time coming all the way down here only to get sick. I started to feel better and decided to duck inside a diner instead of getting on the bus that just pulled up, that’s where I am typing this. After an English muffin and a diet Coke, I feel better. I got another paragraph written and now have a direction for my paper, so the trip was not completely wasted.

Not too much has been going on except classes and studying. I am still settling into the new life.

This weekend I have been struggling with writing a paper on Thomas Jefferson. I finally got an outline and a few paragraphs written. I ended up watching a Ken Burns documentary about Jefferson and the writers block was still there. But after my total Thomas Jefferson immersion and several long walks, I finally have a direction for the paper.

All this for a lousy 2 page paper. I guess the writing process will get faster with time.

I finished my first week of class and it is everything I thought it would be. I am really enjoying school, I fell like I am doing something I should have done a long time ago. I am glad that I really have no other life commitments holding me back. I am able to go full time and completely concentrate on my studies.

It looks like my days as a bike mechanic are over because I injured my right hand. It may be carpal tunnel, arthritis, or tendinitis; I don’t really know, it just hurts and I am adjusting to doing fewer things with my right hand. I have to hold drinks in my left hand now because I will randomly drop things. I also switched the brake levers on my bike, so the left lever is the rear and the right is the front. If it wasn’t for ibuprofen, I would be really unhappy!

I am slowly organizing my room. Since the move, things have been shoved under the dresser and couch and randomly piled into my drawers. It got really bad this week, so I vowed to get organized this weekend. So far it is taking shape, I found a metal box to keep important stuff in and I am getting some shelves put up on the wall.

So, yeah, life sounds boring, but I am really enjoying it. Things are quieter and more orderly, the way I like them.

I got a new bike. It is brand new, not just new to me. It is the first aluminum bike I have owned. I wanted a bike that will do most anything, from commuting to touring to fast weekend ride to puttering around.

I got a Specialized Sirrus. Mine is gray and black. I like the look of the bike having all primary colors, it is not too flashy and less of a target for thieves. I decided to get a Specialized because they are building them better than anyone else for the equivalent money. In my experience maintaining a bike rental fleet this summer, the Specialized bikes held up the best.

I have been working 4 days a week, 10 hours a day. I have also been taking a 6 week course at Truman College on my days off. My final grades will be posted Monday, I think, but I know I got an A, so far.

I feel an amazing sense of accomplishment. I really enjoy school and it is giving me a chance to exercise my brain and really work on my writing.

Before I decided to go back to school, I had a dream one night that I was wondering around in a dark neighborhood and I came upon a college. One of the students let me borrow his student ID so I could study in the library. I remember feeling so comfortable with my laptop and a pile of books open on a table in the school library. I woke up and realized that I should consider going back to school.

So my plans to go to Romania didn’t work out. I now see in hindsight that that was a good thing. The people who I would have been working for are going through rough times right now, and the ministry I would have been at now has an uncertain future. I am so glad God has everything under control. If I would have forced it to happen, I probably would have been stuck in an awkward situation.

When I decided to go to school, I wanted to go to Texas. That didn’t work out either. When I decided to stay in Chicago and enroll at Truman, the doors of opportunity flew open. I found a job and I was able enrolled in a class the school was offering for free. I have all my tuition and books paid for next year, and I am moving into a great apartment with some cool people next week.

I knew I had to leave JPUSA. I know my time there was at a close. I had a growing feeling of dissatisfaction with what I was doing there and I couldn’t alleviate the heavy feeling I had; it felt like I had a pressure on my heart all the time. I know now that was just stress from the anxiety I had about going out into an uncertain future.

My faith in Divine Providence has been strengthened. I am more sure of the direction I need to go. The future is still a murky fog, but I know I am exactly where I need to be.